A hell of a weekend...

Finally able to get 2 consecutive weekend days off... All thanks to my birthday that also falls on a weekend... Some logical, yet stupid unwritten rule at work forbids us to take consecutive weekend days off without taking the friday and monday off. So theoretically, you need to burn 3 off days just to get that weekend off. Sigh, gotten used to my fate and let's move on...

Started off the weekend with 2 persons KTV at Marina's Kbox. Amzaing how I was able to wake up on time for this...Been sooooo long since I went Ktv, kinda rusty already, but who cares.. LOL, nothing exciting, but it was fun...

Followed by, a fantastic musical: 天冷就回来 (If there're seasons...). Superb act. Although there were occassional hiccups, the whole story line was touching, sad yet fun. Of course, the actors were fabulous, with goregous voices that easily captivated the audience and acting that were full of emotions and life. No doubt KeY cried her eyes out.. (every single time 小静 appears, I will cry). It helps that I was familiar with most of the songs, hence able to digest the songs better. Of course, the Singapore style musical always include lyrics. So, no worries on that. In addition, the musical changed my views on several songs. I never knew 细水长流 could be sang with such a sad story behind it, reminiscing times spent with someone who has passed on, T_T. I didn't know that 天冷就回来's lyrics was so meaningful until the musical. Plus, I didn't like 陪你看日出 initially as the song was totally overplayed. But after the musical, I am in love with the song~

But the best thing about the musical experience was that we were sitting on the very first row. First time ever in a musical was I able to see the every details of the actors' faces. And it totally felt like they were singing and performing just for me. Sigh~I really wanna watch it one more time... but too bad tickets are sold out.. guess I've to wait till 2009...

Met up with my beloved sistas and brother for dinner and for a drink. Went over to Long Bar @ Raffles Hotel for a drink... Interesting place with nice decor and a different concept. Each table has a whole bowl of peanuts (unlimited). The fun part of the place is that you are free to sweep the peanut case off the table onto the floor, or simply just throw the case anywhere on the floor (or, erm, on your friends). So everyone was able to relax and had fun throwing peanuts @ each other. Though the variety of drinks was not fantastic, the overall experience was interesting... No photos with me though... Shall wait for Qian to clear her work before she uploads the photos (if ever)...LOL

Day ended with mahjong (damn, i lost $$, but thanks to Zim who covered my loss with his wins, tmd) and supper @ Prata place over beauty world, which was of course accompanied by a hell lot of juicy gossips...

But overall, thanks sistas for spending my last day as a 22 year old with me... LOL

Another exciting day tmr...

Happy Birthday KeY! =P

Wish List...

I know it's tough for you guys to get presents for me... But honestly, it's equally hard for me to think of what i actually want... Maybe it's the new earning ability, there isn't really anything that I want that I can't afford to buy... it's more like I'm too stingy to part with the money.. In addition, there's nothing I really really really, die-die must have... LOL...it's not that I'm contented with what I've.. it's just that, I can't be bothered to think and that there's nothing out there that's really amusing or attractive enough... so, for those who are seriously cracking their brains, I'm really sorry... think harder... =P

ALthough I do have some ridiculous wishes..

1. Return Ticket to US.... (New York OR LA will be good...) Open dates please, since getting leave from work is a painful process...
2. Tickets to musicals: Rent, Wicked & Hairspray... (Open dates too!)
3. A puppy... (this is on my list since forever... might remain for a lot while more)
4. A cute guy in my office.. some eye candy that I can check out... preferably looks like and talks like daniel wu..
5. A damn HDB flat... (it's not that I don't wanna get married, it's just that our beloved government isn't releasing enough units.. so poor zim & key have NO place to stay..so get married for wat~)

Okay okay.. I'll be more practical...

1. Erm...
2. Erm.....
3. Erm.......
4. Erm.........

Sorry guys... tried my best...

Last words: Use your creativity... (oh, and... erm... please don't hate me....)

PS: Zim has no clue either, he won't be of much help~

^_^

Stoopid KeY @ work...

Did something real stoopid today...

waiting for judgement time....

Feels like shit...

and

i wanna cry....

Public Transport...

4 main reasons why I 'LOVE' taking public transport..

1. Waiting at the bus stop allows me sooo much time to enjoy the breeze (which is often a combination of really hot air and pollution from numerous exhaust pipes) in the wonderful sunny Island..

2. Buses never fails to meet and stop at every single red light possible...(wow.. gives me sooooo much time to appreciate the wonderful Singapore scenery, isn't it puuuurfect?)

3. TV Mobile plays sooooo loudly that I can save batt on my ipod since I can barely hear the music from my ipod... or at times free techno music blasting from other passengers' phones.. so sweet of them to share the 'wonderful' music with everyone...

4. It's a great place for exercise as there are barely enough seats for anyone, hence I would normally stand throughout the trip, oh all thanks to aunties that would so considerately hog two seats. Guess they knew i needed the workout... Great workout for calves indeed...

So 'looking forward' to my next bus ride...

I've got mail....

It's been a long while since I received a personal mail... A mail that doesn't tell me how much I have left in my bank account, a mail that doesn't tell me about the perks that the company is offering or a mail that doesn't tell me my lousy grades for the semester. Just a mail that is for me....

No, Will, the mail didn't get lost on the way to me.. It just took my mom forever to check the mailbox. And either way, it doesn't matter.. THe mail got here way before the deadline...



Have to admit that the card came at a timely moment.. Was feeling rather confused, scared and worried about an incident that took place earlier. But interestngly, once I saw the card, I was instantly comforted and started to feel happy.

Thanks for the kind gesture... Just a simple card's able to warm my heart and make me smile...

HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Thanks Will...

27th June 2007...

Hee... Zim popped the question...and Key gave her answer...

"yes I do"...

Loooooooooooongest day at work...

Today... i effectively worked 16hours.... As nasty as it might sound.. it wasn't that bad... Made a couple of new friends..and of course, got by time by fooling around with my collegues... Minus a couple of small hiccups here and there... Things went pretty well..and the major event of the year came to a close.... Although it seemed like a looong day, time did pass pretty quickly... hee..

It's cute how things went... and I'm starting to like my job more.. Feels like I'm back to my PL days.. as a prefect who has to handle prefect's installation (can't remb how to spell liaoz), managing things from booking the caterer, arranging the tables/chairs (in a MUCH greater scale) and of course, clearing up when done.. All the stacking of chairs, piling of table tops, picking up of rubbish reminds me sooo much of my PL days...

I'm glad I took up this job... cos it brings back fond memories..and it feels as if i'm not working.. more like doing what i liked...

So much for a long day.. really drop dead tired right now...

Good night peeps....

KeY @ work....

Been two days since I started work... so far so..boring... As my superior was on MC, there was no projects/jobs assigned to me... Sigh.. so I have been spending the last two days staring at my really slow computer and trying (read - TRYING) to read some Policies & Procedures of the operation. The environment's pretty fun - people that I can talk to.. though I heard that my superior is rather demanding, which scares me a bit! Hopefully she's not as scary as they make her to be.. and hopefully I am able to meet her expectations! *Breathes in... I believe I can...

Hee...the best part of the job is that - Not only do I NOT have to wear uniform, everyday at work is like Causal friday! Hee... I can wear berms, three-quads, flip-flops and birkes to work! LOL.. isn't it brilliant.. Not only do I not have to buy office wear, I've more excuses to buy causal clothes and a new pair of birkes!!!!! Hooray...

However, seems like my work schedule isn't really that fantastic... apparently, although I'm working 5 days a week, one of the days have to be on the weekend, so effectively, I've 1 day off on weekends, and 1 day on weekdays... And it's divided into two shifts - one from 8.30am - 6pm and the other from 12.30pm - 10pm... Which means, I might have less time for my friends and family.. but oh well, things will work out I guess... Hee, at least I still managed to fit time for my facial... muahahahahhahaha...

Oh well, hope tmr's a better day!

我毕业了!!!!!!

After slogging my ass off for four horrid years... I finally reached the finishing line! As from 8th JuLy 2007, Ms Loo Ke Ying is officially a graduate! I have finally graduated from NUS!!!!!! Weirdly, I don't really feel the sense of accomplishment (so what if I'm a graduate... no big deal)..but a huge sense of relief! I'm finally free of assignments, free of exams and free of lectures... Rather heartlessly, I do not feel a sense of sadness upon graduation and I DO NOT miss NUS a tiny winy bit... Okay, probably just my hons class, but honestly, that's all...

LOL...

Anyway, managed to drag myself to the convo (nearly chickened out the night before) and hee, surprisingly, had a great time taking pics with my friends...

So here it goes...

A HUGE THANK YOU TO....

1. My beloved Sistas!!!!

Dear ray ray, although you couldn't make it there, we still left a place for u!!! Your punishment for missing my convo is to photoshop yourself into the picture!!! Remember to send me the photoshopped version k? And hopefully, we'll get a full attendance at our very next convo - either yours or Qiwei!
Dear Qian, thanks for babysitting BRAD... LOL, he seems to like u leh...=P
Dear Qiwei, thanks for being the bag bearer + occassion photographer...

2. ChuYun, Joyce & YItch!!!

Definitely my favourite series of pics during Convo.. Thank gals for coming down specially in your gown to take pics with me.. And of cos, we shall keep our gowns ready for the guy's graduation!!!


Thank you my dear ex-abusive-husband, Mr. Cheng Yichiao for sacrificing his work to grace the occassion!! Can't wait till it's gonna be his turn for convo... We girls are waiting~

3. Bball gang!!!!!!!

Sorry for boring you guys but a HUGE thank you for simply just being there!!!! =)

4. Dearest Auntie Loo

Thanks Mom for being there... sorry for neglecting u quite a bit.. But, I hoped i made you proud by being there, by finally becoming a graduate and for finally able to support myself financially! Thanks Mom!!! And of course, DAd! Though you couldn't be there, thanks for all the support and care you've given me! I'll do my best to be a filial daughter in future!

5. Erm, rather expectedly, Dear Zim

Thank you for being Mr. Photographer for the event. Thank you for Dear little BRAD (the cutie forever friend grad bear) and most importantly, thank you for helping me do most of my assignments!!! (oops... =P)

To every single one of my beloved friends who made it / couldn't make it, I heart you! It really warms my heart to see you all making the effort to come see me and all the congrats and blessings given!!! You guys are the best..

I LOVE YOU GUYS!

Bad SQ experience

"Singapore Airlines is an exceptional way to fly. Our world-class service and state-of-the-art aircraft have contributed to our success. Experience a whole new way to fly in comfort and leisure with First Class, Business Class, and Economy Class."

I was a believer. I always believed that even though SQ flights cost 1.5times more than other airlines at times, it's always worth the money... flying with security, good service, food and excellent in-flight entertainment. This was until SQ220 - my return flight from Sydney, when I realized that SQ is not perfect and that SQ does screw up too...

Started off pretty fine... I was really excited glancing through the inflight entertainment list as I was able to quickly identify enough movies/shows to accompany me through the torturous 7.5hours flight. Things started to go downhill after that...

Shortly after take-off, we discovered that the Krisworld system (inflight entertainment) was down... Over the journey of 7.5hours, my set hung probably 10times.. and they had to reboot the system up to 5 times, yet the efforts were furtile. Demand tV was down throughout the flight (so much for my initial excitment), I cldn't even play a game properly (without it hanging dozen of times) and all I could watch was video (extremely limited selection too) that ran on its own time (i can't even pee in the middle of the show without missing anything). As a result, I could only watch 1.5 movies, (oh, did i mention that my audio set was faulty and I could only hear from one side of the speaker, win liaoz la) and spent the remaining of the time, staring at the blank screen, trying hard to sleep and reading newspaper.

This is dumb. We chose to pay for quality and when quality was compromised, SQ did not even bother apologizing, let alone compensate... So much for world class service man....

I have heard complaints about SQ's poor service from others previously and used to disagree. But after this experience, my impression changed. The stewardess serving us was rude, gave a black face and even served cold towels. I understand that they could be frustrated by the constant complaints about the system that was down, but that doesn't give them an excuse to be nasty to us. We were as frustrated (or even more, after paying so much) as they were and hm... shouldn't they be trained well enough to handle the situation well?

Apparently not.

Several other factors added on to the lousy experience (to which I would not quite attribute it to SQ's service)

1. (I admit this is not SQ's fault, just pure bad luck for me) Two elderly that sat behind me had to use my chair to support themselves when they stand up.. So each time when I'm just about to fall asleep (after much difficulties), I would feel a HUGE tug on my chair that instantly woke me up. F.

2. The two elderly don't quite seem to understand english and seems a bit deaf... When the stewardess spoke to them, she spoke SOOOOOOOOOO loudly, I was actually woken up from my sleep... Win liaoz la...

3. Some stooopid baby kept crying and screaming throughout the flight...

Damn it....

It's definitely my WORST SQ experience..It definitely does affect my confidence in SQ's flight experience....

I'm soooo persuading Zim to submit a complaint letter....

Back from Australia

Just got back from my last trip of the year.... Australia.. Great trip - full of fun activities and great company... (details will be out later, if ever).. Now I totally agree with the statement that people tend to take things for granted... While I was there, I was complaining nonstop about the cold and greatly missing the sunny island... Now that I'm back... it sux.. the heat is absolutely killing me and I'm melting just sitting in my living room... and It definitely doesn't help when you're stuck at home with awful cramps... Now I'm missing the cool, cold weather....

What a way to spend my last week of unemployment - suffering in pain and heat... damn

Anyway, thanks to zim, who greatly subsidized my trip.. I was able to come back with money still in my pocket (this is something new!) and with lotsa good bargains! Of course, with extra weight too (what's new)... Expectedly, food in Aus was expensive! Each meal cost on average AUD$!0 even when its just a simple big breakfast... really really missed hawker food that seemed to cost next to nothing when I'm over there! Well, despite the cost, I still went on a Beef and wine spree in Aus. It must be the years of deprivation - not eating beef till a couple of years ago and not having the luxury of drinking wine - that caused the sudden addiction. Medium Rare beef as my main course with Red/white wine accompaning it became my favourite! (bad one too).. Sigh... oh well, now that I'm back.. guess it's back to rice and water... =(

One interesting/disgusting fact about australia is that Mineral water actually costs more than brooze... Amazing isn't it... AUD$2.50 for a normal 500ml bottle of water... what a killer... No wonder they love to drink...

So, now that I'm finally back, it's time for me to settle down and get myself into the working mood....and it's time to hit the gym again... gosh... i really miss cali~

What colour is my gown????

I hate to admit this... but i really sux...

Went to collect my gown this morning... Okay, I shall not complain that the queue too forever to reach me.. I shall not complain that I waited for almost 30mins before it reached my turn when I'm actually only 3rd in line... I shall not complain about how long it took for the 'cashier' to process my purchase.. I shall not complain that the 'cashier' did not even know how to type an email add...(she forgot to put "@")... I shall not complain that I wasted one whole hour just to collect my damn gown...

Anyway, the point is.. when I finally got around to collect my gown.. I was given a Pink band (or whateva u would call that)... okie.. At least that was what I thought I was supposed to get... Until the lady realized that I was supposed to get Orange instead... Honestly, I was not quite convinced that it's orange..Afterall, all my life, I thought that it's supposed to be pink... PLus, the coworkers at the counter won't exactly sure either.. (they didn't quite echo the lady's comment that it's orange).. and that kinda worried me..

Hence, I stopped to think who I could call to ask for help... Only 2 names flashed past my mind - PeiLing (my beloved sis who graduated from arts previously) and LOL, ironically, my dear sista who, erm, is NOT graduating this year, who is NOT a social work major and best of all, is NOT even a student in NUS... Couldn't reach PL (hee, think she's busy @ work) but anyway, as usual, my sista never failed me... LOL, he was able to clear my doubt --> so it's orange after all....LOL

Sista... u r the beSt! How can I ever survive without you!

LOL....

I'm in love with.....

His voice.....

It's been a long time since someone's voice touched me so much that I wanna cry when I hear him sing....

and I did cry...

The emotions he has is so overwhelming that my heart aches when he sings a sad song and that my heart melts when he sings a sweet love song.... Maybe it's what he has been through that made him sing with such powerful emotions that it's just... (sigh, i could barely use words to describe how i feel when I hear his songs...)... so touching... I know I'm bad with words.. but his voice is just so beautiful... so perfect.... so.... nice...

He sings a sad song with so much emotions - sadness and pain that all i wanna do is to be there and tell him that he'll be just fine... Yet, with his very same voice, he could sing a love song with soooo much love and promise that I wished I was the person he was singing it to....

I started playing 背叛 repeatedly in the car initially as I really couldn't understand what he is singing (he sorta mumbles.) but yet his voice sounds so sad and painful that I could not help it but instead keep repeating the song to try to figure out the lyrics.. (and of course, the tune was nice)

When I finally gave up and checked it out online, I grew to love the song even more... The lyrics is so heartbreaking... The love is just deep (yes, I'm a sucker for sad love songs where the person who loved so deep would eventually choose to let go so that the one party will be happier..) and his voice totally conveyed the pain the person is feeling....

It makes me want to be there for him to console him.. to lend him a shoulder...

Decided to check out his clips on youtube.com... and OMG.. I just grew even deeper in love with his voice.. His live performance is just so breathtaking...darn...kinda wished I took notice of him earlier and made an effort to catch him live in Singapore...

I guess what his voice has that I can't seem to find in others.. is true feelings...it's as if each and every song is a part and parcel of his life... The story of each song reflects his past thus allowing him to sing each song with such emotions... Or maybe it's simply because he's a great singer... a DARN great one....

All I hope is that he will maintain his feelings - true and real, and his style in his future albums... So many other singers have been there and have since changed so much until they kinda lost what they were initially... I seriously hope he stays the same... I hope that his future albums would be as real and genuine as his first two....

His name is 曹格.

LOL... maybe it's the wee hours that made me say all these... and if u don't understand or totally disagree.. too bad for me.. but seriously.. I'm in love with his voice....

If i had a wish... I wish he would sing a song just for me....

If I had another wish... I wish he would have a small unplugged concert... just a piano and a small audience... a stage where he could sing all his songs in silence... a performance where I can truly immerse myself in..(rather than the terrible and noisy usual concert environment.. yucks)

Oh, by the way... OMFG.. he speaks in an accent~ (grew up in Canda & New Zealand...)

*Key melts into a pool of water...*

I am gainfully employed!!!!!!!

Finally went to sign my appointment letter today... (after a long month of waiting) Nearly died of anxiety in the process of getting to the location.....Firstly, started panicking at 1.20pm when I realized that I've nothing to match the pants that I bought and ended up spending a whole 40mins before I finally decided on what to wear (which was NOT the pants in the end.). Was about to leave home when I realized that I forgot to photocopy a particular transcript.. (that was at 2pm... I was supposed to reach at 2.30pm!!). After some thinking and turning into the wrong lane, I decided to abandon the last minute task of zapping the transcript and head down to the location directly. After driving for a mere 10mins, the no-petrol sign lighted up.

Fuck.

the car was low... as in, really low, on petrol....

sigh.... after a short panic attack, I decided to pia my way to the location anyway, keeping my fingers crossed throughout... and thankfully, managed to make it there, without running out of petrol!!!!

Anyway, after conquering all 'obstacles', I managed to arrive on TIME!! Was expecting ONE legal document or something like that which i can just sign and be done with... but instead, it was a whole chunk of forms (that needed some patience to complete) and papers.... So, anyway, the point is .... *drum rolls*... I'm GAINFULLY EMPLOYED!!!! hooray.... finally a load off my shoulder and I'm good to enjoy my trip in Aus...

Hee... anyway... got a piece of bad news.... sigh.. apparently, I've a uniform.. erm.and it's PINK...(yucks).. but whatever, for the $$, (breathes in)... I will live with it!

Sigh...

I'm so pissed right now! So pissed with the fucking mac software... my stoopid macbook!!!!!! I can't understand why with today's technology, mac still can't perform several simple functions that windows does.....

1. The stupid itunes cannot even automatically convert wma to playable format!!!!!! Ironically, my windows itunes cld!
2. Quicktime can't seem to tell me what are my missing codecs in order for me to play a particular movie file!!!!!
3. My stoopid ipod is formatted for windows!!!!! So, i needa restore configurations (which means i lose all my playlist!) in order to use it for mac.... OMFG...

Spent the whole night trying (til 4am!!!) to burn Data Dvds for the Y Group... Firstly, it took so bloody long to burn each disc... (sigh, i forgive mac for it since each disc is abt 2.5G...) and out of which, 4 (out of the 14 I did) failed! Tmd.. wasted $2.40 of my $$$$$!!!!

The best of all... (FUCK), I woke up to discover that I've burnt everything in the WRONG format...some stupid HS+ that is ONLY compatiable for MAC!!!!!!!!! FUCK!...

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@$!!##&%#%#$!^!%#!%$^#$&#^%!$%%

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Really feel like crying right now......

Sigh.. feel like slapping myself for choosing a macbook....

Experimenting with Gimp...

Feels a little handicapping trying to figure out how to use Gimp (a free software that allows photo editing...)....

But after the best method - of trial and error - the ever powerful, intelligent and capable KeY has it all figured out...

Muahahahhahaha.... managed to squeeze out a collage! (and of course, a playback of my USA days....)




From top left to right...

1. The outside of central library....
2. The inside of the magnificant library
3. Lunch break @ wallstreet...
4. (second row) Subway exit @ World Trade Centre.. (it definitely looks prettier than the actual WTC site..)
5. Picture stall @ Central park.. (always feel like slapping myself for not buying any of the beautiful pics...)
6. Statue of liberty, of course
7. (third row) KeY, KeY's Bro, Zim & Chunnie go to White castle!!!!!!
8. My favourite place - Times Square
9. BEST food place in New York (with really cute waiters of course) - OLive Garden...

Sigh.. I MISS new york.....

Okay, I'm missing the point here too... Anyway, I'm gonna applaud myself for my accomplishment - MY FIRST (of many more) COLLAGE using GIMP!

Hooooooray~

South Park....

After investing $160 on 2 seasons of south park, I came to realise that I've gotten my money's worth... It's amazing how I could actually learn from them! I am proud to say that my vocabulary has expanded and I've learnt TWO new words (slangs) after watching 39 episodes of South Park.

TURD [turd]
–noun Slang: Vulgar.
1. a piece of excrement.
2. a mean, contemptible person.

and

DOUCHE BAG
–noun
1. a small syringe having detachable nozzles for fluid injections, used chiefly for vaginal lavage and for enemas.

These shall replace my current limited vocab of SHIT and ASSHOLE... After all, after experimenting and scolding several people "TURD", I came to observe that most of them did not understand that word and instead gave me a blank look and a "What?!" respond...Thus, these responses reinforced my satisfaction of knowing that those I scold/curse (most of them) did not even know what's going on! all i can say... damn song~

As for now, the love of my life is none other than...

Gownless... I will be..

@ a small gathering this afternoon...

J: "EY.. have you ordered your gown?"
ME: *blank look* "Huh...must order one?????? I thought 22nd June go collect and try on can liaoz??????????"
J: "Er, duh~ must order first and 31st May was the last day. (laughs~) I thought I'm the only one.."
ME: "Win already lor... at most both of us will be gownless during convo..."

Sigh... that's a sign that I need more friends... friends that can update about such idiotic and miscellenous details...

Tmd... I'm sooo gonna scream my ass off if I can't get a gown....

Sigh.. at most no gown lor...

TMD!

Back...(again...)

Okie... I'm back again... From Hong Kong and Taipei with my family! Honestly, the trip didn't turn out as bad as I imagined... Minus the fact that I'm currently gym-deprived (in other words, yes, I put on weight... but again, who won't with the wonderful food in Hong Kong & Taipei, duh...) and I'm also down with flu...

Besides the two shitty facts, I did kinda enjoy myself (though I can't quite say the same for my parents n brother... )... Interestingly, I took more photos than I thought I would! hee, and also managed to finally take a family photo after donkey years! WIll upload photos once I figure out how to use the apple's equivalent of adobe... Might take a while though...

Anyway, several things took place when I was away...

firstly, I got my final results.. and as expected, I got a second Lower... Honestly, I'm not that disappointed, in fact, I'm pretty cool about it... and even had a pleasant surprise knowing that I got an A- for my ISM! Hee.. thank god man... I really really thought I did a really awful piece of work and even anticipated a C! Thank goodness...

From the bottom of my heart~
Thank you (my dear supervisor) for seeing the good in the load of rubbish I submitted... and of course, I hoped that my contribution would be useful in your research.

Other than that... did so-so for the rest of my modules...Though I was a tiny winy bit disappointed in a couple of the grades... but oh well, what matters is that I've OFFICIALLY GRADUATED, with a CAP of 3.93 (cute, my cap actually went up by 0.01 this semester! WTF)

Secondly, PA called me again and upated me with the pay that I would be getting...(I'm not sure if I can post it online... but anyway, shall not do it..) The basic pay's pretty bad.. but on top of the pay, there'll be a monthly allowance that's pretty good though.. so my overall pay (both basic + allowance) would add up to be reasonable... But honestly, the main concern that I'm having, besides the pain, is whether or not I want to take up the job offer. I don't really know what I wanna do actually, and neither am I sure if this is the right job for me. The job sounds fun but again, the career prospect is really limited... It doesn't quite help when the pay's a little, weird... as in, I don't understand why can't they just raise the basic pay?

Out of curiousity and fun, I went for tarot reading and asked about whether I should take up the job offer anot... Interestingly, the reader interpreted my cards and came to a conclusion: That this job doesn't quite suit me...if I were to take up the job, I would end up having to change (either in terms of my character, or in terms of my interests or something like that) to adjust to the demands of the job. Thus, I would be better off not taking it up as there would not be much future prospects for me. She also added that I would not have a problem looking for jobs that are more suitable for me...

I would be lying if i were to say that the tarot reading did not influence me at all. In fact, it kinda added to my confusion as well as this uneasiness in me... I'm feeling uncomfortable about the idea of taking up this job as well as unsure of what I really want in a job... Gosh, I thought one more year in honors would give me a better idea of what I want in life, but after this year, I'm still at step one... I still have no idea what I want... sigh.... I really needa spend somemore time thinking it over properly...

Maybe god's telling me through the tarot reading (yeah, I can feel the christians screaming at me telling me that tarot reading's devilish) that this is not the path I should take... I want to believe that this is god's way of telling me what I should do....

I just want someone to tell me what I should do... I don't want to make my own decisions anymore...

Dilemma...

I got a call that woke me up from my beauty sleep...

Man: "Hi, is it KeYing?:
KeY: mumbling... "Yes"
M: "I'm calling from PA and would like to inform u that...
K: (in her mind... okie..calling to say that I didn't make it...)
M: (continues) " you have been selected for the job. So are you still interested?"
K: (breathes in and hesitates) "Yes."

Actually, I'm not too sure if I'm still interested.. After I shared my decision of going for the interview with several people in my life, I recieved mixed responses - most of ithem gave the 'duh' look and the 'what the hell are you choosing this job' look... With advice that it's not going to be an interesting or fun job and that hours will be shitty, blah blah blah... Someone also commented that I should find jobs that are more fun and more suited to my personality... (he was like, try the Zoo or something along that line..) In fact, I do agree with him, I can't imagine beng stuck on a boring job for the rest of my life...

so that places me at a crossroad, one way leading to a stable and secured job, another leading me to a road of uncertainty and risk, yet with benefits that could be greater than that of the other one... What should I do?

I'm so lost...

Back to Reality...

Back from Hong Kong... Oh well, not feeling much about it actually... There were ups and downs on the trip... Bad aspects of the trip (Maybe not that bad): I totally overspent and felt kinda lonely and bored during several periods on the trip, but of course, there were some Good aspects: I made new friends! (Got a BFF - best friend forever) and I managed to explore much of Hong Kong that I never had the chance to do so previously...

Interestingly, I experienced many first times on this trip even though it was probably my eighth or tenth time visiting..
1. Wandering on my own for the first time in Hong Kong,
2. Taking the Mini BUS,
3. Trekking on Dragon's back trail and sitting on the edge of the cliff..
4.Trekking from Sha Tin to some wulu place (I walked 10.68km!!! *Beaming with pride* and I even thought that I was going to die),
5. 'Plucking' (or rather, cutting) strawberries from a farm
6. First clubbing experience at Lan Kwai Fang.. (damn expensive but it was an eye opener =P )
7. Walking two really cute dogs (My cousin's) and feeling as if they were mine.. They are such darlings and that definitely reinforced my dream of wanting to rear dogs in future.. and it's getting me more excited in fact...

Definitely, these accomplishments pretty much outweighed the downs on the trip.. so overall, guess I'm rather satisfied with this experience..However, a little part of me feels rather sad as I return back to reality and back to my life in Singapore. Reason? Sadly, most of the friendships that I've build over the trip and the year in Honors class would end up being the 'annual' kind - We'll probably meet up with each other once a year.. Too bad I guess, but it's definitely better than nothing~ =P

Life goes on anyway... with friends or no friends.. I don't need a dozen of friends.. I just need a few good sturdy ones.. and they know who they are!

I believe that's enough...

Will try to upload my hong kong pictures...someday..(if it ever comes)

Revamp...

Decided to give my blog a facelift. Well, looking at my blog makes me down. So, I've decided to do away with the gloomy grey and adopt the simple and fresh 'white' look. Looks a little bland now though, I must admit. But no worries, once I figure out how to use Apple's version of photoshop, I shall spice up my blogs with pictures of my loved ones and hopefully, interesting snapshots of my life using my Apple baby~. LOL

Besides, from tomorrow onwards, I will officially join my beloved sista, Qian, on her journey of blogging, since we'll both be freed of the burden of studying! Which means, more free time to blog and NO NEED for anymore studying, exams, lectures, tutorials...omg, I'm loving just the sound of it... Hopefully, I would then be able to devote more of my time on blogging then~

Muahahahahaha... one more paper to graduation~
Wooo-Hoo.. I'm almost there! =P

My apple baby....

Yap, it's official! I finally got my apple baby after 3 months of hesitation and 2 weeks of waiting... To be honest, I was feeling rather guilty and slightly regretful for spending so much when I'm paying for it... but once I took a glance at it.... OMFG, there was NOT a single tinge of regret. I was instantly IN LOVe with it... And yes, spent a few hours drooling on it...The graphic interface is goregous!!!!!!!! The colour white is a die-for..and everything about it... is...... fantastic...

Hee... my first blog entry using my apple baby... actually, I've absolutely no idea how half my applications work... How to even shut it down..and where the hell to go to change my wallpaper...how to type chinese characters and of course, where the hell is the "Backspace" key!! (Which I realised after a while, there's none... omfg!) BUt of course, being shallow, it doesn't matter... it's the looks that matter... Who cares about the functions when my apple baby is just so drop dead goregous! LOL, I shall patiently (or not) master the art of using a macbook... I can do it!

Meanwhile, while KeY enjoys her droolin' days... her account is absolutely empty... BUT I still wanna accessorize my apple baby!!! still wanna buy a pretty laptop bag and a pretty mouse to go with my apple baby... Hee.. shall do so in Hong Kong and Taiwan.. at least that means my mummy and daddy will be paying for them... Muahahahahhahahahaha.... I am such an unfilial daughter..but whateva, for my apple baby, I don't care~

Sorry Zim, ah ping and ah pong, my greatest love currently... is my apple baby... =) Give me sometime lah.. when i get sick of it.. I'll come back to u guys!!! Meanwhile, you guys can be the supporting actors in my life! I still love u... just that I love my apple baby more!!!

Worries....

It's the time of the semester again.. Exams.. Gosh, have I mentioned how much I HATE exams?! It's such a lousy measure of my capabilities, but of course, as much as I hate to admit, it's an excellent measure of my diligence and hardworking-ness, which of course, I totally lack. Maybe it's because it's my last semester, I'm taking things so slow and easy... Can't seemed to be able to sit tight for even an hour to try to study. And seriously, I don't give a damn. But to be honest, I'm starting to feel underprepared and kinda worried (I better be, my paper is TOMORROW!)... And worst of all, I think everyone else is definitely more prepared than I am. I'm so expecting to be bursting out in cold sweat outside the examination hall tomorrow when everyone around start sharing how hard or how much they've been studying! Sigh, someone pleassssse tell me that they haven't been studying that much!!!! PLEASE!!!!!

Guess I should stop whining and instead, put in my heart and soul for the very last mile... (I've effectively 24 hours...)

Anyway, as I watch my 2nd Upper drift away from me (no thanks to "intro to cybercrime" and "ISM"), I'm losing my fighting spirit and any tiny winy hope of achieving it. Maybe a little part of me still do hope that I can do it, but of course, LAZY KeY has always been the dominating one, so poor HOPEFUL KeY has no choice but to remained suppressed. Oh well, whatever, it ain't too bad getting 2nd lower anyway. (Is that truly how I feel? Or am I just deceiving myself?)

Unfortunately, my main concern or rather, distraction at this point of time is not my paper tomorrow. Rather, it's a job interview in an hour's time. Seriously, I've absolutely no idea what to expect. I know we needa do some homework before attending any interviews, but still, sigh, what to prepare? what to read up? I don't really know.. and it's simply too early for my brain to function. Surfed around to gather some information here and there, but nothing's falling in place yet. Hopefully I can display enough confidence and, some wisdom and knowledge, that would impress them enough to consider hiring me. Sniffing non-stop thanks to the stupid aircon and even the tea can't seemed to take it away... God, help me~

Panicking right now.. For so many things and so many reasons... Can't wait till saturday is here....

KeY will survive... I hope...

My heroes personality test...

Matt Parkman

You scored 50 Idealism, 33 Nonconformity, 33 Nerdiness

I don't want to be a chump.
Congratulations, you're Matt Parkman! You're a great person: caring, hard-working, and honest. You might not have the best of luck, but you do your best in all areas of life. Your kind and responsible nature is rare, and you should be proud of it.

Your best quality: Heart
Your worst quality: You may take more abuse than you deserve





My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

	You scored higher than 99% on Idealism
	You scored higher than 99% on Nonconformity
	You scored higher than 99% on Nerdiness

Link: The Heroes Personality Test Yes, I'm just bored... Not my ideal heroes power.. but still, he' s pretty cool, at least I'll be able to read people's mind..

My mood today...

A picture speaks a thousand words...

My mood today is.....



All thanks to ISM....

I HATE ISM-ing!

Stoopid chen qiwei

KeY bangs her head against the wall... says:
your 'sistas' ARE smart
:: QiWei :: CPA and Tech Com Presentations... Even music is distracting... =( says:
but is true leh
:: QiWei :: CPA and Tech Com Presentations... Even music is distracting... =( says:
they admitted themselves
:: QiWei :: CPA and Tech Com Presentations... Even music is distracting... =( says:
haha
:: QiWei :: CPA and Tech Com Presentations... Even music is distracting... =( says:
yeah... i noe
:: QiWei :: CPA and Tech Com Presentations... Even music is distracting... =( says:
aspiring social worker who doesnt wanna go into social work n promising auditor tt aspires not to be a partner
:: QiWei :: CPA and Tech Com Presentations... Even music is distracting... =( says:
how "smart"...
:: QiWei :: CPA and Tech Com Presentations... Even music is distracting... =( says:
haha
KeY bangs her head against the wall... says:
wtf.. thanks man~that's soooo... erm... encouraging
:: QiWei :: CPA and Tech Com Presentations... Even music is distracting... =( says:
eh.. i got praises in front hor..haha
:: QiWei :: CPA and Tech Com Presentations... Even music is distracting... =( says:
tt lessen the level of hurt in my remarks
KeY bangs her head against the wall... says:
aspiring and promising? WAH~ that's soooo, erm, kind of u?
:: QiWei :: CPA and Tech Com Presentations... Even music is distracting... =( says:
yeah.. say thankew..
:: QiWei :: CPA and Tech Com Presentations... Even music is distracting... =( says:
haha
KeY bangs her head against the wall... says:
thankew.... happy?!

Stoopid Chen Qiwei...

KeY's illogical logic

The reason why my blog entries are soooo infrequent and laggy is not because I lack inspiration. Rather, it's just that I cannot find time to blog. (what's new) Afterall, I am an aspiring social worker (Chen, 2007) who is crawling my way through the last semester in school, of course I am busy, with erm... school work?

The reason behind the reason is as such; when I am at home in the evening, I SHOULD be doing my ISM (or any other work), which of course I don't. If I managed to convince myself that I should rest and work on it the next day (which is never difficult to convince myself) I choose to rest and watch TV and let my brain rest. Blogging is brain consuming and tiring, and is especially so for someone who, erm sadly, does not have much brain matter to begin with. Hence, blogging should only be done on days when I don't need to rest much or to work on my ISM the next day, which is very the not often.

So, that's why I don't blog often. *satisfied with her own explanation*

But if I do, please read it with your heart as each entry takes with it some of the previous brain matter that is in KeY's tiny brain...

Dying...

Stuck in school (voluntarily) on the 4th day of lunar new year.. trying to do transcibing for my ISM..and it's a absolute killer...

Have you ever tried transcibing a video clip with extremely lousy audio quality? If you haven't, PLEASE~ don't try.... If you have, I totally understand...

I cannot figure what hell the person(s) are saying!!!! They were either whispering and totally overthrown by the interefence (fuzzy sound) OR speaking sooo loud it's bursting my ear drums. It's soooo tiring juz trying to understand what the conversation was about, let alone transcribe word to word... Omfg...

Now, I'm experiencing the feelings of self doubt, and of course, self blame! Why the hell did I volunteer to torture myself this way? Yeah, I was just being lazy, thinking that using secondary data could save me lotsa trouble and of cos, time. And now, I'm remorseful... guess I outsmart myself again and simply juz dug my own grave....

This is such a torture... Attempt number 1 took me 3 hours to transcribe 5 mins (of a 3 hours plus video clip...) Attempt number 2 (still in progress) is, thankfully, slightly more productive. I've spent the past hour transcribing 5 mins worth of video, with 50% ambiguity, unfortunately...

This is exciting. I can't wait till the moment I am done watching and transcribing the full 3 hours plus.. It's been a while since I looked forward to something so much... and yet, as usual, I'm toootally dreading the progress...

I wanna die...

Random shots of my babies....

Yes, I admit that I'm bored.. and yes, I admit that I'm crazy... but still...

I love u, my two little babies...

Read-ing

How a book affects you depends alot on your maturity level or mindset when reading it. When you are young and ignorant, reading a philosophical book could be nothing more than pure entertainment or boredom... On the contrary, when you have experienced life (or similiar situations as the author), each and every sentence in the book could touch you in an unexpected way. That's exactly how I felt for "tuesdays with morrie"..

I first read it when I was in J2... Honestly, I didn't like it the least.. felt that it was boring and nothing more, despite the constant praises (from people around me) about how inspiring and touching the book was... I was more than eager to get rid of the book and was confident that I would probably never touch it again...

Unexpectedly, it became a book that was needed for one of my modules' class discussion... Being the guai ('erm') student I always have been, I decided to give the book another try.

I was amazed by how different it felt, reading the book again. The same book, yet at a different time, made such a huge difference. Each sentence, each session with Morrie was so inspiring and close to my heart thatI actually found myself, looking up from the book, after each chapter, reflecting on my life and consciously reflecting on my feelings and what I've done... I guess, having gone through death of a friend and having been through several struggles in life, allowed me to appreciate the book thoroughly.

Too many parts touched my heart that erm, (and I am rather ashamed to say this) that I can't remember most of it... but somehow I am confident that I would readily whip up that book and read it again and again each time I feel lost, confused or lousy about myself..

Yet, a sentence that I'll always remember... "Death ends a life, not a relationship"...

Some books deserve a second chance..

Feelings...

Been getting this uneasy feeling inside me... the feeling of not knowing what I want, the feeling of wanting more... the feeling of.. confusion and the feeling of being at a loss. This feeling within is sooo unbearable and I cannot explain the origin of the feelings....

I had a good drink with Kc yest... it felt good to be in a semi-drunk state.. cos being in that state allowed me to forget that feeling momentarily. I finally felt normal. At least I thought I was better already.. but once the alcohol effect resides, the feeling came back...

and it really sucks....

How can I get rid of the feeling for good? How can I be back to normal?!

Bedtime...

I've a habit; each night before I sleep, I would start constructing blog entries in my mind. As I lay on bed, preparing to doze off, my little (and literally, i mean) mind would start a blog entry. I would start thinking about what I want to write for my next blog entry. Word by word, I will create a full blog entry (that are relatively interesting) right before I enter the sleeping cycle... (Not that I wanna boast. but I think those entries I created were rather impressive and impactful)

And the best of it all..... is that I CANNOT remember a single shit the next morning...(of what I wanted to blog about, what I wanna write)... -_-"

I was tempted to wake up and start blogging a couple of times, BUT, dreamlands was always more attractive. Guess I have to compromise for such, erm, 'lousy' entries instead. But still, at least I can still, erm, relatively fluently (and at least it's understandable) express my thoughts...

damn....

What is your goal in life?

Someone asked me this question on last friday....

"what is your goal in life?"

I... I... didn't know.. I really didn't...

Amazingly, this question stuck and kept me pondering for the past 2 days. (and it's killing me~) I stopped to wonder what I want to achieve in life, and I really couldn't answer it. I went around asking people what their life goals are and received an interesting range of answers: from travelling around and helping people, wanting to serve the public, become a policy consultant, serve God, to living a happy and contented life. (I am proud of you, my amazing friends) But still, I was not satisfied. Knowing what others want did not help me find out what I want, instead, it motivated me to think, reflect on what I really want in my life...

I always thought my goal was to settle down with Z, get our dream home and start a little (not literally possible) family. But after speaking to others, I realised how insignificant and boring my goal in life was... I want something more... more exciting, more rewarding.. something that I should achieve while I am still young. And one day, when I'm old and dying, be able to look back in my life with pride to have lived life....

And maybe one day, I'll fall back on my initial goal and do start a life with Z. But for now... I want something more...

I want a set of goals that are operationalizable. A set of goals that are achievable and measurable. (seems like social work research methods are taking a toll on me) I want goals that I can work towards and when I achieve it, I want to experience a strong sense of accomplishment. I want to stand somewhere, someday and be able to tell myself :"KeYing, you have done it..." I want a list of goals that I can achieve, on my own, for myself. To be motivated to work towards it... and eventually, fufil my purpose in life....

Finally, after much reflection and thinking... (sigh, it's been long since I worked my brain this hard)

This is what I [really] want to accomplish before I reach 30....
1. Spent one year of my life in Europe...
2. Complete my masters in USA
3. Visit Kenya (be it on a holiday or as part of a humanitarian project)
4. Help someone....(witness a miracle? Am I being too greedy?)
And of cos, my little dream of my life with Z.

Honestly, I'm doubtful on how much I can do, or rather, how much I am able to push myself to achieve. But I want to try... a small step a time... and someday, I will be able to tell you, my dear friend, that I've accomplished these...

Till then, give me your support and have faith in me...

Maybe today, you can sit down and ask yourself this: "What is your goal(s) in life?"

Are you listening? or Am I not speaking?

I learnt something in class recently (and it's one of the few rare things that I could still remember after class ended).. In order for a friendship to be beneficial, functional and lasting, reciprocity is essential, ie. you need to give and receive [emotionally] in the relationship in order for you to want to continue the relationship, and more importantly, to listen and to be heard.

I realised the power of listening. It feels good listening to people open up their hearts to me, as it feels as if people are interested in sharing their lives with me. And I know, it feels good to know that you are being heard. But, overtime, I came to conclude that people speak more than they listen and I often end up listening more than I speak... (speak = speaking from my heart, not the usual rubbish i always babble)

And maybe the failure of such transactions (of listening and of being heard) has caused several of my friendships. At times, each time I try to speak to someone about my problems, he/she will inevitably link the situation to his/her problems instead and before I realised, the focus is on his/her problems, not mine...

Often I wonder, if only they would stop and listen to me..... and just take sometime off their problems to get to know the real me... maybe the friendship would work out much better... Yet again, I stopped to think: Is it because they are not listening? or Is it because I am not speaking?

Reflecting on my life, I find that I do not really share my deepest thoughts and feelings with many people. Is it because there is nothing much to share? or Is it because I, unconsciously, guard my inner feelings so tight that I would only share with few?

Being betrayed previously by a trusted one really taught me to save guard my secrets and thoughts...because it's probably better off this way... I guess I learnt it the hard way...

Not sharing is my way of protecting myself.. my own defense mechanism with a great cost -- several of my friendships...

KeY's ramblings

I enjoy reading my friends' blogs... the blogs always give me an insight into their lives, especially those that I barely get to meet. Yet, as much as I enjoy taking a peep into their daily lives and thoughts, it scares me to know how little i really understand them and, sadly, how lousy a friend I have been to them. Not being able to be there, and probably, not important enough for them to share their feelings and thoughts with me. At times, I can't help but start questioning myself, on how good a friend I've been (or not) and how hard have I tried (or not), and unfortunately more often than not, I conclude that I am a lousy friend. Guess I'm juz not making enough an effort...

Z made a comment about me today. (which i pretty much disagree with) He commented that if someday he should leave [this world]... (touch wood of course), he believe that I would be able to stand strong, and move on with life, with support from friends and stuff. I beg to differ.. firstly, I find that I rarely share my deepest thoughts and feelings with anyone (till date, probably 3 unlucky souls (including Z) have been my target board), so my world would pretty much collapse when he's gone and you can't expect me to cling on to the 2 remaining unlucky souls 24-7. And secondly, I know I do have a handful of friends who are willing to be there for me. Yet, everyone's occupied with their own burdens and would move on, I cannot expect them to be there like Z has been... so ultimately, I would collapse...

Okay, but my point is, I have been a lousy friend to many, and hence I pretty much cannot expect them to be the same to me in times of need... and even if they were there... I would feel uncomfortable and guilty for burdening them...

Reflecting on who i've been, I conclude that I'm probably not a "good friend" material... but for now, I really don't care (okay, I'm in denial, I do care, but I don't wanna do anything about it as yet)...

Maybe one day I'll regret... but for now, let me be the childish immature key for a little while longer...

I'm back

It's about time i return...(reading people's blogs really make me wanna blog too...)

That feeling is BACK, finally...