Key isn't as strong as she thinks...

Day 1.5...

Time crawls when Zim isn't around.. And, no surprises, I didn't sleep well at all. It's funny how much at ease I am when Zim is in the room with me. Without him, my senses are so heightened that a single sound would keep me wide awake, even when I am awfully tired. Sigh. Guess I'm just not used to it when he's not around. But I'm not going to give up and I'm giving it a second try. I'm confident that it's going to get better!

Even though Zim's away, I still feel really blessed. Blessed with wonderful friends that would go an extra mile to keep me company knowing that I'm alone now since Zim's away. Blessed with sista who made an effort to call him once he knew that zim has flew off. Blessed with friends who booked me for my birthday week when zim isn't around to celebrate with me. It's a really heartwarming feeling that would make me smile to myself when I think of all the little things they have done. Guess I must have done something right to deserve such wonderful friends!

Thanks guys... you really made my day!

Home Alone..

Zim's off for a work trip in Germany for a week. =( The first official trip without me since our wedding. Well, I definitely would have gone along if I have sufficient leave. Sigh, I wanna be a taitai! *Grumbles*

Anyway, I initially played with the thoughts of staying alone at home, but gave that idea up shortly after a lizard invaded our sty (Hm, that was two weeks ago..Zim insisted that he chased it.). After the lizard scare, I concluded that maybe it would be better for me to just move back with my mom for the week. Settled, and so I thought.

I changed my mind last week yet again after considering how troublesome it will be for me to bring all my toiletries and clothes back. Being the pampered key, I insisted that my mom move in with me instead. Settled again? I don't think so...

Still, I changed my mind once again and decided that I did not want my mom to move in with me either and decided to give being home alone one more attempt since the lizard scare has since died off!(well, women have the privilege to be fickle minded!)

Of course, mom wasn't too keen to hear that and blew her top at me. Thank god I managed to get Zim before he flew off to convince her a bit and with my stubborn self, there wasn't any room for any negotiation.

I don't deny that I'm somewhat scared of staying alone. But I believe that I need to start somewhere. I can't possibly rely on my mom or Zim forever and having the courage to stay alone is a good start. I need to be more independent and brave.

I can do it! So I guess it's home alone for Key and her two little pigs.

Wish me luck!

Curse of a degree holder?

Sometimes I can't help but wonder if my life will be happier if I didn't have a degree. There are definitely more expectations from others just because you have a university degree. Of course, with expectations, comes more responsibilities. And I don't like it, not at all.

Maybe it's just the nature of the job. Maybe it's because I'm not doing what I really like (but again, what do I like?). I look at my colleagues (those w/o a degree) at work and I'm actually envious of them. Envious that they have less responsibilities, less stress and do seem alot happier and more carefree than I am. I'm not ambitious at work. I don't aim to climb the corporate ladder. I just want to live my life in a simple manner - happy and stress free.

With the deadlines and stress at work, I can't help but wonder what the hell I'm doing. What exactly am I suffering for? Why do I have to endure being scolded for this and that?

I know I won't be earning as much as I am earning now if I have anything less than a degree. But again, money isn't everything. Let me choose again, I would rather earn less and be happier.

Sigh~ It's okay. I just have 4 more months. After that, I will take some time and search for what I want exactly.