Updates...

It's not that I've stopped blogging. In fact, I have constantly met my personal target of one to two entries a week. It's just that I have officially become one of those "obsessed parent-bloggers", except that my child is furry, has four legs and is certainly the cutest creature on Earth (and so I think). I've not given up on craft, I am still into vintage and cool things, I am basically still me. It's just that most of my interests are all centered around a certain little guy called Sam. I am ashamed to say but I think my furry little rascal has a way more interesting life than I do.

So, check out Sam's Little Forest to grab some snippets of my life.

enjoy~

Going Home..

Yap! I'm going home!

Amid my indecisiveness, I've finally decided. And I'm glad I made that decision. Apparently, Mum was so happy that she called my bro, who in turn called me almost immediately. I would like think he's happy too. Afterall, I will be there to share Mum's overbearing-ness for 2 weeks. So why not?

Of course, I'm sure I'm going to miss my little man. To reduce my guilt, I'm thinking of boarding him at a farm, so that he would enjoy the freedom of roaming on acres of land, running on grass and breathing in fresh fresh air. I've narrowed down to a couple and let's see how things go from there.

Anyway, looking forward to home!!!

Home?

Where's home? I used to think that home is where Sam is. I still do. It's just that I have a sudden yearning for home, the other home where the rest of my family are. I used to pride myself for having little homesickness and actually enjoying the freedom I get being away from my overbearing mom. (Oops~) But now, I actually feel like going back home. And it really doesn't help that my dad spoke to me personally about wishing that I would go home.. (He seldom makes such requests and when he does, my heart definitely goes soft...)

I guess that the trigger is Zim's upcoming trip home, most possibly without me. I'm a little tempted to go back with him. Okay the truth is, I'm VERY tempted to go back with him. That being said, there are a couple of factors holding me back. Financially, it does not make any sense. The trip back and sam's boarding would easily add up to USD3k. In addition, I have to leave my other home, the home where my little boy is and it breaks my heart to do so. Lastly, it's the 20 hours flight. The uber long flight that would make my butt break and where I would be constantly worrying if it's going to crash. (Yap, I've a phobia of planes.)

So, is it worth it? I don't know...

I thought that I had made up my mind, but the constant struggle about the decision makes me realise that I'm clearly not happy with the decision.

Sigh.... How can I be so indecisive? Rawrrrrrr~

Say Goodbye...

Made a long overdue effort to revamp the guest room into a craft room. In the process of doing so, I finally tossed some things away, most of which were just trash. There were a couple, however, that had some memories attached...

1. My childhood stereo..

This was a birthday gift from my parents when I was in secondary school. It was antique enough that it had both a cassette tape and a MD player! It had served me well during my school days, always there for me while I chilled out in the room or while I struggled to study. It's definitely hard to say goodbye, especially after a decade. But I guess when it's time to let go.. I've to..

2. My snowboarding helmet..

This thing probably saved my life last fateful Christmas. Though I've absolutely no use of it now, it was a little heartbreaking tossing it out. Afterall, I am indebted to it.
Seeing the evidence of the crack it endured while it sacrificed itself for me still gives me chills and make me grateful that no long term damage happened (but again, maybe I did get dumber..=P).

Saying goodbye isn't easy, especially to things with memories. While I no longer hang on to these physical possessions, looking at the photos still give me a little warmth in my heart (and a little ache as well). At least there's still some memories of them that I could hang on to for as long as I would like...

For now, GoodBye...

Me Time...

I was just chatting with a few of my friends over the past week about how being in NYC has changed us. (Luckily for us all, it's usually a change for the better..) I know that I've matured (yes, it comes with age), became more sensible and definitely am more independent. I am even surprised by how resilient I could be and how I could actually stand on my own feet and cope without Zim around. And of course, I am pretty proud of myself for being a relatively good doggy parent (Okay, self praise is no praise..but you get the gish~). Well, that is if you see beyond what a brat the little monster has become. Sigh~ Still, it's an achievement for a first time dog owner!

Though I'm pretty proud of what I have become (*Smug look*), I still wanna push myself a little more. So, *Drums roll*, I am going to challenge myself by going on a backpacking trip ALONE. Yes, alone. This is really a pretty big decision considering what a wimp and scaredy cat I can be. So, hopefully through this, I will be able to grow even more!

I've a couple of plans in mind about where I would like to explore on my own. (Definitely places that have no lizards!) Hopefully things will work out and I would be able to get some me time to myself... Fingers crossed!!

Cowardly me..

Curiosity killed the cat and killed my courage. Out of curiosity, I had been watching numerous horror movies and documentaries over the past month. As a result, there were several occasions when I woke up due to nightmares (yap, mostly those surrounding the supernatural). Even when I'm wide awake, I would scare myself with silly thoughts of scenes I saw on tv. (The number one culprit was a particular scene in 见鬼2 where a perverted old man ghost was staring at the lead actress in the public restroom. Shrugs). Thus, when Mr Lim had to leave for a short trip again, I was really upset (okay, mostly scared) and didn't dare to sleep till the sun started to rise. (Yes, for once, Sam didn't help much. In fact, I was sub-consciously worried that he might stare at nothing and bark again.) I was pretty much dreading the next time Mr Lim had to leave for a work trip that I couldn't tag along (those that include any sorts of plane rides).

Yap, that was sunday. Well, honestly, things weren't as bad as I thought. For once, I am actually really appreciative of the noisy streets of NYC, the ridiculously loud sirens and the constant traffic (yap, even in the wee hours of the morning). At least I wasn't alone! Little Sam was pretty cooperative as well and didn't do any of his sudden outbarks at nothing. (Phew~) All in all, seemed like I've pretty much gotten rid of the cowardly me for now. (Until I succumbed to my curiosity and start watching any scary shit again, well, and knowing me, that would be pretty soon..) But seriously, I really do take my hat off those who stay alone! I could never do in the long run!

Anyway, the good news is.. Mr Lim is coming home today! Time for a real good night of sleep.

zzzzzzzzz

The last lecture...

Raye lent me this book to kill time when I was hospitalized. I glanced through it pretty quickly, stopped a couple of times for some self-reflections and finally managed to finish the book last night. Randy Pausch is seriously one cool guy and is really amazing. (I know he had since passed on, but to use 'was' seemed so... cruel.)

The book consisted of short anecdotes of his life and somehow, they all managed to be linked to wonderful philosophies that are often so obvious, yet, not followed. Bitter sweet stories that leave you with a smile, and possibly a heartache. Of course, there were a couple of stories that just slapped me on my face. Out of which, the one story that left me with the biggest impression was "Don't Complain, just work harder" (Chpt 32). I must learn to stop complaining, and just make do, or rather, make the best of everything. Reading this make me ashamed of all the whining I had about my ex-jobs, people and things in general. Life is pretty short, so why waste time bitching about things that make you feel lousy. Move on and things might just get better!

Well, being a cry baby, I could not help but teared when I read the last section of the book. He celebrated his wife's birthday for her in front of the whole audience during his very famous last lecture at Carnegie Mellon. When they hugged, she whispered "Please don't die" to him. That was a complete tearjerker... T_T It's not difficult to imagine how heartbreaking that was. Sigh, life is a cruel reality, isn't it?

In a nutshell, I love his outlook in life, his ideals and his personality. Great book that would leave you lotsa room for self-reflection!

A definite good read!

He's coming back..

Just 3 more days and he will be back with me once again.

I admit that I am not suitable for Long Distance Relationships. It's like, he's only gone for 3 weeks, but it is beginning to feel as if he has never existed in my life. Images of us having dinner, going on dates or just hanging out together at home seemed so faded that it felt as if the relationship has never happened. Scary~

But still, there is a really strong feeling that there is a part of me missing. And that's when I realise, it's him.

While I feel extremely handicapped without him (sigh, just had a failed boardgame session where 3 idiots sucked at reading instructions and he isn't around to enlighten us. No surprise, We gave up after twenty minutes), I am actually proud that I've survived two really hard days on my own. Well, I might not be that strong, but at least, I can stand on my feet when I need to.

Still, I can't wait for him to return and hopefully, this will be the last time we will be apart for so long....

We are almost there...

Those were the days...

Suddenly felt like listening to 世界末日.

This song brought back so much memories. Brought back the days when I was just 18 years old and a really silly hardcore Jay fan. I bought his albums, went crazy over his posters and could memorize all his song lyrics! I even spent 6 hours queuing up for his concert tickets in 2002 (yap, it was close to my A levels prelims) with chunie. After which, I was really really disappointed when he did not sing this song at the concert.

But he did one year later. This time, I did not spend 6 hours queuing up. I could not even recognise half of the songs in his new album. (well, the truth is, i didn't even remove the CD from the CD case). I went for the concert just because I felt that I needed to, tho the Jay fever was clearly dying off in me. And I did not regret at all. He sang this song. And when he sang it, I cried.

Well, this very song ended my fanatic Jay days. I never went gar-gar over him anymore. I stopped buying his albums and attending his concerts. I packed up all the items related to him and was ready to sell them all (haven't gotten around to doing it tho)...

I doubt I would go for any of his concerts in future... Buying his future albums, just maybe. Still, those were the days...

Silly, but memorable.

想笑 來偽裝掉下的眼淚 點點頭 承認自己會怕黑
我只求 能借一點的時間來陪 你卻連同情都不給
想哭 來試探自己痲痺了沒 全世界 好像只有我疲憊
無所謂 反正難過就敷衍 走一回 但願絕望和無奈遠走高飛...

Belated Vday Post...

While Zim and myself don't have the habit of celebrating Vday (let's say we have decided not to succumb to the commercialization of Valentine's day after an awful experience in our first year together), we still kept the gift exchange aspect alive. Pardon my lack of creativity, and due to lack of time, I simply popped by City Chain during lunch one day and bought Zim his very first titus watch.
Price aside, Zim seems to like it. At least he's wearing it often enough.. ^_^

As for his present to me, well, it wasn't exactly a surprise since I explicitly asked for it and he ordered it in front of me.
It's my very own Hana Yori Dango DVD! Looking at the disc really brings back many fond memories of my secondary school days. I remember sitting in front of the TV at 6.30pm sharp every week day when I was in Secondary 4 just to watch the anime on channel 56. I remember tossing the pillow at the TV each time the episode ends. I remember how I got so addicted to it that there was NOTHING that could keep me away from TV then.

On top of that, my brother was really sweet when he actually bought me the full comic set (it was till book 20 then) for my next birthday. And I remember how I painstakingly followed the comic series for the next 6 years, how happy I was when a new book arrived and how agonizing it was waiting for the next to come. I remember how I cried and how my heart aches when I read certain parts of the story. Lastly, I also remember how empty it felt when the comic series ended too. Guess it's quite evident since I was never quite able to find another comic series that I'm that addicted to. Pity all the drama series really didn't do the comic any justice. It's a MUST to read the comics if you are a fan of the TV series. It's the BEST!

The thing is... this 3 DVDs are only 3 out of 10! Hee, can't wait till I have the full collection in my hands!

Quarter-Life Crisis...

Such blog entry comes once a year, always when I hit a plateau somewhere in my life. In case you are wondering, nope, I'm doing great relationship-wise. I mean, I'm happily married, own my own little sty, blissful and best of all, childless. What's more can I ask for in this aspect.

So, of course there's always a reason why this blog comes. (Partly, because SCV finally cancelled all my free channels, so yes, I'm bored.) I recall an entry I did previously where I listed 5 short term goals I want to achieve. It has been almost 2 years and geesh, I only achieved one (the easiest of course). Good or bad? I'm not sure. But one thing I am sure, is I still do not know what I want in life.

Guess what really triggered this blog is envy. Recently, I had the privilege to speak to two really passionate friends. While we are of the same age, they are really different from me - they are working towards a direction, a passion in life. The ironic thing was, both of them are working towards getting a diploma/degree in social work. In contrast, here I stand, a social work major graduate, still confused.

I'm envious.

I'm also starting to panic, wondering why others are able to find their directions in life yet I am still aimless. It feels like I'm living day to day, just counting down to fridays (bball day!) and weekends (a break from work), stuck in a job that does not satisfy me and via versa and it's a total drag and rather depressing too.

I'm just not satisfied. While it's easy to grumble and complain, it takes a lot to move on, and I just don't have the strength and courage. Sadly, I'm stuck in the life of an ordinary person - a person that is bounded by responsibilities, paychecks and expectations from others. Plus, I don't even know what I want, how to move? Or rather, where to move to.

Guess I just don't have that luxury.

Hope you're better off than me. =/

New Year Resolutions?

Read through a couple of friends' blogs and suddenly realised that New Year = Time to make new Resolutions! LOL, interestingly, I have totally forgotten about it! Guess I'm too preoccupied with other matters to even remember! Now that I did, let me just list a few to keep myself a little more motivated for 2009!

(1) Be a good wife
How? God knows. Okay, let's see. I will try to not bully Zim as much, to be nicer to him and erm, stop making him do all the household chores!

(2) Hang on to my Job
I initially gave myself 2 years. After a huge setback during the 6-month mark, I halved the target (just one year!). But with the current situation (housing loan, utilities bills, economic recession), erm, maybe I'll stick to the initial plan. (Sucks~) Thank god things are getting better at work too.

(3) Do a Layup during Basketball
I think I'm pretty decent under the net. But I just need to have more confidence in dribbling the ball and doing a layup! Shall spend more time improving and I shall achieve this by end 2009!!

(4) Cook and Bake like Jamie Oliver!
I wanna cook and bake like a chef! (Okay, be REALISTIC!) I just wanna whip up a decent meal and dessert without the help of Zim or a cookbook! Make him go "wah~" and crave for more! After all, the key to a man's heart is to conquer his stomach!

(5) Meet Daniel Wu

This is like on my new year resolution list every single bloody year! So far, no luck. TMD. 

Well, good luck and we'll see how I do on 31st December 2009!

Happy 2009 btw~ =)

120th blog entry..

This is my 120th blog entry. I blogged 120th entries in my previous blog and the 120th entry was the last entry there. It was a period of blogging sickness and I retired for almost 1 year before resuming. Even though it's also my 120th entry in this blog, I'm pretty sure that it's NOT going to be the last. Hee, yes, which also means that my blogging passion is still burning! ^_^ Keep it up KeY!

Hm, anyway, life has been pretty peaceful for me for the past few weeks. Good start on the job, starting to blend better with the colleagues, always cracking lame jokes and gossiping (duh, my favourite pastime mah), and of course, learning things on people relationships as well as the job operations. The only not-so-good part now is the waiting phase. As from now, I'm still waiting for orders from the management as to where I will be posted to. No one seems to know (or maybe no one wants to say anything), so I guess there's nothing much I can do but simply sit back and wait on..In other words, enjoy my honeymoon~ and pray for the best!

Life without Zim isn't all too bad.(but if I were to choose, I would definitely prefer having him around, duh) Pretty much used to it right now. Though I do miss him quite a bit, at least I am able to meet up with some of my friends. It's just weird that I still hear his voice on the phone, but yet not able to see / touch him physically. Sounds like he's just at home, but in a matter of fact, he's actually far far away in Switzerland. =(

Basketball sessions without Zim started off really weird, especially when I usually relied on him for my 'endless' supply of water and 100plus. Now that he's away, I pretty much have to fork out my own $$ to buy my own drinks. TMD. Can't wait till my waterboy's return in just 13 days time! ^_^

On a happy side note: Hee, I'm relatively pleased with my basketball performance for the past few sessions! Definitely improving on both my rebounding as well as shooting. But I'm confident that I can improve more! Shall find some time to shoot some hoops and improve my skills!

Jia You!

regrets...

I heard something that affected me quite badly. It's something to do with my previous job, a comment made by my ex-boss to be exact. It got me pretty irritated as the comment was rather unjustified and unfair to me simply because it probably begun with a misunderstanding and that I was not there to defend for myself and that the person there just conveniently pushed the blame to the absentee, me.

It disgusts me to think that I've spent 8 months of my life working for her. It disgusts me that I actually sided her during my exit interview. Now, I'm full of regrets. One big regret is in accepting the job to begin with and I have to admit that it's definitely one of the worst decision I've made in my life.

Guess I finally understood what people mean when they say that it's a dog-eat-dog world out there. People can simply backstab you for their own gains regardless. People can simply draw conclusions without clarifying and finding out the truth. I'm not too sure what else she's going to do as I heard that she has threatened to write my HR report in a way that will ensure that I won't be able to find another job in future. How nasty can she get. I'm just stunned to hear that, especially when I did do my work and help her for the past 8 months and this is what I'm going to get in return. I'm truly disappointed and totally disgusted. To be honest, I don't even know what I did wrong, or rather, if I even did anything wrong. I'm really discouraged now.

Sigh. Seems like there's still alot more for me to learn about the world outside.

I'm just glad I have a chance to start afresh. Glad that I have been given another opportunity in a whole new environment to prove myself. At least I thank her for being the model of someone I definitely do NOT want to be, though at a cost that might not be worth it.

Just 28 Hours away..

Finally done with my last day of work. Felt a little tiny bit guilty for not exactly doing a good job in clearing up my job, kinda left several things undone and passed it on for others to clear it up for me. (I tried my best.. but I guess the others just won't exactly cooperating with me.) Though I'm officially no longer an employee of PA, something tells me that I'm still going to get calls from the CC. Oh well, at least I'll be overseas, so there's no way I'm going to answer my calls! (too bad lah)

Excited for a fresh start at my new workplace. Praying that I will get good colleagues and at least decent bosses. Please~ Hee.. meanwhile, it's BREAK time! Time for me to go abroad to the love of my life and get recharged!

Hee, just done with my packing. Hm, going with a fully packed luggage this time round as I have to bring some stuff for Zim. As revenge, I shall bring less $$ and leech off my silver turtle. =P

Going to Hong Kong Disneyland sparked off a new resolution of my life - to visit all disney parks in the world. I'm pretty much almost there since I've been to Disneyland (LA), Disney World (Orlando) and Disneyland (Hong Kong). So now I'm left with Eurodisney and Disneyland (Tokyo)! Hee, checked out the website for Eurodisney and I'm sooooo tempted to go. There's tower of terror, Rock and Roll Roller coaster, Indiana Jones... OMG! Plus, Zim hasn't been to any disneylands before, I must drag him there! hee.. can't wait to get to Paris!!!!

That's it for now.

Till 11 May!

Hong Kong...Here I come..

Nope, I'm not insane over Hong Kong. Don't ask me why I keep returning. Just that it happens to be my mom's favourite holiday destination as some of my relatives are over there. An it's supposed to be one of the countries in Asia with the best Social Work field. And it just happens to be the place that Sissy is posted to for his attachment.

All these coincidences just seems to bring me back to Hong Kong for 5 Times in two years. I've been to hong kong countless times since young and is pretty familiar with the place that I'm competent enough to travel around without any maps. (Just one irony remains - I still can't speak Cantonese.)

Anyway, while it's just another trip to Hong Kong, it is also gonna be an interesting one. It's been a while since my family of seven travelled together. 7? Well, there's dad & mom, bro, kitty, ping, pong & me. (So that makes 7!) Another coincidence is that I get to meet my friends there! Hee.. Alicia will be going over on saturday, Bro's cohort mate from induction who happened to be someone I met during one of YM events will also be there during the same period. And of course, chen qiwei is slogging off his ass for his internship in hk too. Hee, so I can to meet all these people while I'm there! Pretty cool isn't it?

Hee.. of cos, being in hk puts me closer to someone - Daniel WU! Hahaha.. maybe I might just get lucky and bump into him? (Think I need to wake up...)

Okie, heading off in just 7 hours.

KeY out~

Addicted KeY

Signs to show that you're a PSP addict:

1. When you take the wrong bus, just because you are concentrating too hard on a fight!
2. When you miss the stop you were supposed to get off.
3. When you choose to sit down at the bus stop for half and hour, just to finish that particular fight, before heading off to your destination.
4. When you don't mind having to wait someone/ or an appointment as you know that you have something to entertain you.
5. When all you think about is how to win a fight.


Sigh.. Maybe getting a psp wasn't a good idea. =P But,who cares. It rocks!

Catching Up...

Met up with one of my friends today... Realized that I haven't been as good a friend as I would like to to her. (As usual...) Seems like both of us have moved on quite a bit and there were so many things that I am unaware of that are happening in her life. I feel kinda guilty for having distanced myself from her due to priorities in life. Seems like I've been a lousy friend who is lost in my own world. She has moved on quite a bit.. Doing well in her work, getting into a relationship.. blah blah.. and I'm actually ashamed to say that I am unaware of the details of her life. To think she still regards me as one of her bestest friend. Really deserve a slap for being such a lousy friend...

Actually, it ain't just her. There are a handful of them whom I'm been neglecting and as a result, pretty much lost the friendships I had with them. As much as I despise it, I've to admit that I'm someone who 重色轻友. Seems like I've given most of my time to Zim (No, I'm not blaming you, and I believe that every minute spent with you was worth it) and have gradually chosen him over several of my friends. Quite a pity indeed, especially when these are some of the people that went through joy and sadness during my good old school days...

think it's about time I made some effort to meet up with several of my friends and catch up with them on what's going on in their life... if they are willing to meet me to begin with....

LOL.. let's see how things will go..

Karma...

I always believed in karma...

Been a really nasty person for the past week... bullying people around me... =P

Seems like I'm really running damn low on karma now...

sigh.. needa start accumulating it again...

Need my help for anything???? I'll do anything to accumulate karma!!!!

Free, but stuck...

Finally done with my induction course! Feeling a little empty now.. especially when I think about having to return to work.. *shrugs* Oh well, let's not go there for now..Did make a handful of friends during this two weeks, some of which I totally adore and would love to keep in touch with and a handful of which I would probably never meet again in my life (and I don't really care anyway..=P)

Honestly, don't think I gained much (as in after attending all the classes and talks) during the two weeks of brain-washing, guess it's because I was in a semi-conscious state most of the time. Afterall, I probably slept no more than 20 hours throughout the week (thanks to bridge and supper and ktv).. But one thing that definitely stuck with me, is the advice given to me by the instructor... Slapped me right on my face. He mentioned that, if this job isn't meant for you, you should move on and not waste your time.

Actually at that very instant, I felt like he was saying it directly to me. For the past months, I've been struggling with thoughts about the job. To begin with, I do not really enjoy the nature of the work (being at the beck and call of the GRLs is definitely something I cannot stand, esp when some of them treat u like a slave) and I dislike the management style at work (to be more direct - I HATE my boss). I dislike the inflexibility of my work schedule, I dislike missing out on family events and friends' gatherings simply because my boss is too 'lazy' to make extra arrangements for me. I dislike being bullied at work (he refused to send me for my region's retreat simply because he needs to compensate me an off day if he did so..ass) and being thrown a whole shitload of work simply because the boss has too many emails that he needs to clear (just pure incompetency). I came to realise that I treasure my time with my family and friends over my career. And it totally frustrates me that the nature of the job is restricting my leisure time tremendously. Seems like I've listed enough reasons for me to move on....

I'm giving myself two months. Two months for change to happen within my workplace. If things doesn't change for the better, I'll move on....

Dreading each and everyday at work....

damnit...