Well, May 12 marks my first year anniversary in this organisation.
I'm glad that I managed to pick myself up (with the help of many great friends/colleagues) during the low times and fought on. Despite all the frustrations and injustice, I actually made it. And I am really proud of myself.
It's funny, while I'm surprised that I even got confirmed, I'm convinced that this is probably my career end point in this organisation. (well, it's theoretically called CEP in govt sector.) LOL...
Anyway, I do have a rough idea of what I want to do next. I'm just not sure if the time is ripe, but we shall see.
For now, I'll take things at a step and indulge in my new confirmation.
Congratulations KEY!
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Monday, November 10, 2008
12th May 2009
Hitting a plateau at work. Boss is constantly picking on me, partly because of the silly mistakes I have been committing (Feels like he's picking on practically EVERYTHING he can), partly because of god-knows-what. The job started off pretty good, but somehow, I just lost control overnight and things just spiral downwards. My 6-monthly apprasial didn't turn out too well either... but again, I don't really care~
Feeling ultra demoralised and low confidence. It's like, I feel that I can't even do a simple thing without worrying about what his reaction is going to be, how sacrastic his next comment might be or what he is going to find fault in next anymore.
I'm totally convinced that I am not going to be confirmed after 1 year (whatever~). In fact, I'm all ready to throw in the letter anytime, but I just want to keep the promise I made to myself - that I will at least stay for one full year. I'm 50% done.
Hang in there KeY!!!
Though work really sucks, I am quite blessed with great colleagues who are really supportive and encouraging, always there to share their experiences and advices with me and of course, fight with me hand-in-hand. I'm also really sorry that I drag them down at times too.
On another note, I'm confused about what I should. Confused about why I can't just do a good job and confused about what I want to do.. (deep inside, I just want to be a taitai and leech off Zim....but... oh well) Shall spend the next 6 months figuring something out as well as steer clear of my boss..
Just 6 more months...
Feeling ultra demoralised and low confidence. It's like, I feel that I can't even do a simple thing without worrying about what his reaction is going to be, how sacrastic his next comment might be or what he is going to find fault in next anymore.
I'm totally convinced that I am not going to be confirmed after 1 year (whatever~). In fact, I'm all ready to throw in the letter anytime, but I just want to keep the promise I made to myself - that I will at least stay for one full year. I'm 50% done.
Hang in there KeY!!!
Though work really sucks, I am quite blessed with great colleagues who are really supportive and encouraging, always there to share their experiences and advices with me and of course, fight with me hand-in-hand. I'm also really sorry that I drag them down at times too.
On another note, I'm confused about what I should. Confused about why I can't just do a good job and confused about what I want to do.. (deep inside, I just want to be a taitai and leech off Zim....but... oh well) Shall spend the next 6 months figuring something out as well as steer clear of my boss..
Just 6 more months...
Monday, May 19, 2008
regrets...
I heard something that affected me quite badly. It's something to do with my previous job, a comment made by my ex-boss to be exact. It got me pretty irritated as the comment was rather unjustified and unfair to me simply because it probably begun with a misunderstanding and that I was not there to defend for myself and that the person there just conveniently pushed the blame to the absentee, me.
It disgusts me to think that I've spent 8 months of my life working for her. It disgusts me that I actually sided her during my exit interview. Now, I'm full of regrets. One big regret is in accepting the job to begin with and I have to admit that it's definitely one of the worst decision I've made in my life.
Guess I finally understood what people mean when they say that it's a dog-eat-dog world out there. People can simply backstab you for their own gains regardless. People can simply draw conclusions without clarifying and finding out the truth. I'm not too sure what else she's going to do as I heard that she has threatened to write my HR report in a way that will ensure that I won't be able to find another job in future. How nasty can she get. I'm just stunned to hear that, especially when I did do my work and help her for the past 8 months and this is what I'm going to get in return. I'm truly disappointed and totally disgusted. To be honest, I don't even know what I did wrong, or rather, if I even did anything wrong. I'm really discouraged now.
Sigh. Seems like there's still alot more for me to learn about the world outside.
I'm just glad I have a chance to start afresh. Glad that I have been given another opportunity in a whole new environment to prove myself. At least I thank her for being the model of someone I definitely do NOT want to be, though at a cost that might not be worth it.
It disgusts me to think that I've spent 8 months of my life working for her. It disgusts me that I actually sided her during my exit interview. Now, I'm full of regrets. One big regret is in accepting the job to begin with and I have to admit that it's definitely one of the worst decision I've made in my life.
Guess I finally understood what people mean when they say that it's a dog-eat-dog world out there. People can simply backstab you for their own gains regardless. People can simply draw conclusions without clarifying and finding out the truth. I'm not too sure what else she's going to do as I heard that she has threatened to write my HR report in a way that will ensure that I won't be able to find another job in future. How nasty can she get. I'm just stunned to hear that, especially when I did do my work and help her for the past 8 months and this is what I'm going to get in return. I'm truly disappointed and totally disgusted. To be honest, I don't even know what I did wrong, or rather, if I even did anything wrong. I'm really discouraged now.
Sigh. Seems like there's still alot more for me to learn about the world outside.
I'm just glad I have a chance to start afresh. Glad that I have been given another opportunity in a whole new environment to prove myself. At least I thank her for being the model of someone I definitely do NOT want to be, though at a cost that might not be worth it.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Updates...
I probably really should be sleeping right now. After all, I've to get up at 6.30am tomorrow just to get to work. Whatever, I need to blog. I really need to blog. LOL.
Here's a summary of how my life went for the past 2 weeks.
1. Trip to Zim
Flew 12 hours to Zurich, nearly died on the plane as usual, because of the constant shaking and turbulence on the plane. Sigh, don't think I'll ever get over my dislike for plane rides. Didn't help that there weren't any cute guys in my vicinity. Sux. Finally caught Zim after a whooping 15hours of travelling, which included flight transit at zurich to geneva, a bloody ex cup of green tea that cost $5.20! But I guess it was all worth it. Just seeing him.
Spent 10 days in Europe. Besides Geneva, we hopped over to Paris and a french village called Annecy (Heard of it? LOL, I never did till then.). Paris is totally overrated. Didn't enjoy it as much I thought I would. Headed over to Montreux on my own. Nice little town. More details later.
2. My New Job
I'm extremely pleased with my new job so far. Started on monday, so it's officially day 3. Firstly, I'm posted to the place of my dreams and secondly, it's OFFICE hours. So from now on, KeY is officially available on weekends! Of cos, I've to do OT on weekends and night shifts occasionally, but still, at least, I'm not obliged to do it every single week! Best of all, I'm currently attached to a great trainer who's really teaching me the ropes of the job and it's really beneficial. At least I get to learn what I need gradually instead of simply being thrown into the woods to fend for myself. Really an encouraging start. In addition, it seems like my big bosses are nice as well. I'm really confident that this is going to be a great place to work. Thanks ChaiHong for the great introduction! ^_^
That's about it for now. Updates for switzerland will definitely come about this time, since I'll be free on weekends... Muahahahahahha....
Here's a summary of how my life went for the past 2 weeks.
1. Trip to Zim
Flew 12 hours to Zurich, nearly died on the plane as usual, because of the constant shaking and turbulence on the plane. Sigh, don't think I'll ever get over my dislike for plane rides. Didn't help that there weren't any cute guys in my vicinity. Sux. Finally caught Zim after a whooping 15hours of travelling, which included flight transit at zurich to geneva, a bloody ex cup of green tea that cost $5.20! But I guess it was all worth it. Just seeing him.
Spent 10 days in Europe. Besides Geneva, we hopped over to Paris and a french village called Annecy (Heard of it? LOL, I never did till then.). Paris is totally overrated. Didn't enjoy it as much I thought I would. Headed over to Montreux on my own. Nice little town. More details later.
2. My New Job
I'm extremely pleased with my new job so far. Started on monday, so it's officially day 3. Firstly, I'm posted to the place of my dreams and secondly, it's OFFICE hours. So from now on, KeY is officially available on weekends! Of cos, I've to do OT on weekends and night shifts occasionally, but still, at least, I'm not obliged to do it every single week! Best of all, I'm currently attached to a great trainer who's really teaching me the ropes of the job and it's really beneficial. At least I get to learn what I need gradually instead of simply being thrown into the woods to fend for myself. Really an encouraging start. In addition, it seems like my big bosses are nice as well. I'm really confident that this is going to be a great place to work. Thanks ChaiHong for the great introduction! ^_^
That's about it for now. Updates for switzerland will definitely come about this time, since I'll be free on weekends... Muahahahahahha....
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Some Updates...
Anyway, some quick updates on what's going on:
1. I'll be going to Hong Kong with my family on 25Th April till 29th April. Will be catching up with my beloved sista over lunch!
2. Last official day @ work will be on 30th April. Finally~
3. Leaving for Geneva on 1st May! (Will be popping by Paris over the weekend with the loves of my life...^_^)Will be back on 11 May.
4. Starting my new job on 12 May..
Finally moving on. To be honest, I am really relieved to be leaving my current workplace as the tension and frustrations are building up so much that I will probably go insane if I stayed on any longer. But, on the other hand, I suddenly realised yesterday, that there are many other things within the organisation that I'm really going to miss. Netball, YM events, the 2 bitches, my colleagues (X bosses) and YEC. Sigh. I guess in life, you gain some and lose some. Hopefully, I'll gain more over at my new workplace!
Looking forward to all the excitement in my life! =)
1. I'll be going to Hong Kong with my family on 25Th April till 29th April. Will be catching up with my beloved sista over lunch!
2. Last official day @ work will be on 30th April. Finally~
3. Leaving for Geneva on 1st May! (Will be popping by Paris over the weekend with the loves of my life...^_^)Will be back on 11 May.
4. Starting my new job on 12 May..
Finally moving on. To be honest, I am really relieved to be leaving my current workplace as the tension and frustrations are building up so much that I will probably go insane if I stayed on any longer. But, on the other hand, I suddenly realised yesterday, that there are many other things within the organisation that I'm really going to miss. Netball, YM events, the 2 bitches, my colleagues (X bosses) and YEC. Sigh. I guess in life, you gain some and lose some. Hopefully, I'll gain more over at my new workplace!
Looking forward to all the excitement in my life! =)
Friday, March 28, 2008
Frustration @ Work...
Oh well, I'm at my boiling point at work right now. Going to work each day is such a challenge (not in a good way, of course) and it's an absolute dread having to face the two of them...
Signs that it's time to change your job:
1. When you start quarreling with your bosses.
2. When you start throwing tantrums at work.
3. When going to work is such a dread that you sigh the moment you enter the office door.
4. When all your complaints to your friends/spouse/family is about work, work and work.
5. When you start giving the 'hack-care' and 'LL' attitude.
6. When you try your best to 'siam' your bosses and are actually glad when they don't show up for work.
7. When idiots start bad-mouthing you to your loser boss and your loser boss instead of approaching you to inform you, chooses to just tell another colleague about it. Oh, and did I mention, give you a lousy grade for your appraisal?
8. When you become ultra anal about your off days.
9. When you start concluding that your bosses are useless (AND incompetent) as they can't even answer a simple question you have or complete a simple task without arrowing it to you.
10. When a better door opens for you! =)
Anyway, it's all going to come to an end!
I'm sooo getting outta here.
Signs that it's time to change your job:
1. When you start quarreling with your bosses.
2. When you start throwing tantrums at work.
3. When going to work is such a dread that you sigh the moment you enter the office door.
4. When all your complaints to your friends/spouse/family is about work, work and work.
5. When you start giving the 'hack-care' and 'LL' attitude.
6. When you try your best to 'siam' your bosses and are actually glad when they don't show up for work.
7. When idiots start bad-mouthing you to your loser boss and your loser boss instead of approaching you to inform you, chooses to just tell another colleague about it. Oh, and did I mention, give you a lousy grade for your appraisal?
8. When you become ultra anal about your off days.
9. When you start concluding that your bosses are useless (AND incompetent) as they can't even answer a simple question you have or complete a simple task without arrowing it to you.
10. When a better door opens for you! =)
Anyway, it's all going to come to an end!
I'm sooo getting outta here.
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Free, but stuck...
Finally done with my induction course! Feeling a little empty now.. especially when I think about having to return to work.. *shrugs* Oh well, let's not go there for now..Did make a handful of friends during this two weeks, some of which I totally adore and would love to keep in touch with and a handful of which I would probably never meet again in my life (and I don't really care anyway..=P)
Honestly, don't think I gained much (as in after attending all the classes and talks) during the two weeks of brain-washing, guess it's because I was in a semi-conscious state most of the time. Afterall, I probably slept no more than 20 hours throughout the week (thanks to bridge and supper and ktv).. But one thing that definitely stuck with me, is the advice given to me by the instructor... Slapped me right on my face. He mentioned that, if this job isn't meant for you, you should move on and not waste your time.
Actually at that very instant, I felt like he was saying it directly to me. For the past months, I've been struggling with thoughts about the job. To begin with, I do not really enjoy the nature of the work (being at the beck and call of the GRLs is definitely something I cannot stand, esp when some of them treat u like a slave) and I dislike the management style at work (to be more direct - I HATE my boss). I dislike the inflexibility of my work schedule, I dislike missing out on family events and friends' gatherings simply because my boss is too 'lazy' to make extra arrangements for me. I dislike being bullied at work (he refused to send me for my region's retreat simply because he needs to compensate me an off day if he did so..ass) and being thrown a whole shitload of work simply because the boss has too many emails that he needs to clear (just pure incompetency). I came to realise that I treasure my time with my family and friends over my career. And it totally frustrates me that the nature of the job is restricting my leisure time tremendously. Seems like I've listed enough reasons for me to move on....
I'm giving myself two months. Two months for change to happen within my workplace. If things doesn't change for the better, I'll move on....
Dreading each and everyday at work....
damnit...
Honestly, don't think I gained much (as in after attending all the classes and talks) during the two weeks of brain-washing, guess it's because I was in a semi-conscious state most of the time. Afterall, I probably slept no more than 20 hours throughout the week (thanks to bridge and supper and ktv).. But one thing that definitely stuck with me, is the advice given to me by the instructor... Slapped me right on my face. He mentioned that, if this job isn't meant for you, you should move on and not waste your time.
Actually at that very instant, I felt like he was saying it directly to me. For the past months, I've been struggling with thoughts about the job. To begin with, I do not really enjoy the nature of the work (being at the beck and call of the GRLs is definitely something I cannot stand, esp when some of them treat u like a slave) and I dislike the management style at work (to be more direct - I HATE my boss). I dislike the inflexibility of my work schedule, I dislike missing out on family events and friends' gatherings simply because my boss is too 'lazy' to make extra arrangements for me. I dislike being bullied at work (he refused to send me for my region's retreat simply because he needs to compensate me an off day if he did so..ass) and being thrown a whole shitload of work simply because the boss has too many emails that he needs to clear (just pure incompetency). I came to realise that I treasure my time with my family and friends over my career. And it totally frustrates me that the nature of the job is restricting my leisure time tremendously. Seems like I've listed enough reasons for me to move on....
I'm giving myself two months. Two months for change to happen within my workplace. If things doesn't change for the better, I'll move on....
Dreading each and everyday at work....
damnit...
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Stuck @ Nacli...
Not really in a blogging mood recently. Guess that explains the lag in entries...
Hm.. anyway, just a simple update.. KeY is currently stuck @ NACLI (some ulu place off pasir panjang road) for induction and will be stuck there till the end of next week. Oh well, it really isn't as bad as it sounds. Met lotsa fun people who are a bomb to hang out with... (of cos, to bully and to gossip with lah.. =P) and most of the activities are either brainless (just stone and pretend to listen to talks) or fun (which is a PERFECT fit with KeY's personality..). So, guess i'll survive...
Set a new record for my life.. slept only 9 hours in 3 days! (no thanks to gossiping sessions) LOL.. oh well, when there's fun, who needs sleep....
Okie.. time to start packing for another week of in camp training..
til then...
Hm.. anyway, just a simple update.. KeY is currently stuck @ NACLI (some ulu place off pasir panjang road) for induction and will be stuck there till the end of next week. Oh well, it really isn't as bad as it sounds. Met lotsa fun people who are a bomb to hang out with... (of cos, to bully and to gossip with lah.. =P) and most of the activities are either brainless (just stone and pretend to listen to talks) or fun (which is a PERFECT fit with KeY's personality..). So, guess i'll survive...
Set a new record for my life.. slept only 9 hours in 3 days! (no thanks to gossiping sessions) LOL.. oh well, when there's fun, who needs sleep....
Okie.. time to start packing for another week of in camp training..
til then...
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Work...
Pretty bad day at work today...Kinda tough discussing details here as i can roughly foresee several possible consequences. So, pardon me... just let me grumble a bit.. to let off some steam... to let me cool down...
I'm cooking a recipe for potential disaster. And the best of all, the killer ingredients are not due to my negligence... not due to my carelessness or anything within my control.. It's instead due to what people are doing or rather not doing.. People who are screwing up my work for me... people who are for some reasons avoiding my (numerous) calls... people who are just unreasonable and people who are not sticking to deadlines they promised me. It's not like I'm being unreasonable. I gave ample time and informed them way before.. yet things still can't be done...
i'm seriously frustrated. I detest the thought that I might be getting a scolding from my boss for screw-ups that were not directly caused by me. It's not like I'm not doing my work, not like I'm careless or forgot something. If I am responsible for the screw-up, I admit defeat and will gladly accept the 'punishment'. But I just can't take it lying down when the responsible party is actually someone else. I'm willing to go all the way out to complete the task, all I need is to get them on the phone to convey my intentions and I can't even reach them. Something tells me that they are avoiding my calls... and it's so irritating that there is really nothing I can do without offending them...
Handling people is definitely a challenge and for now, I'm not doing it right. At least it appears so... Seems like I'm going to spend my OFF day trying to get my hands on them... worrying if the task will be done...
Wished I have more control.. I don't mind doing extra work... I just need the required documents in.. I'm more than glad to do the sorting out no matter how messy the documents are.. Is it really that diffcult? I don't think I'm asking too much. It's just a simple request.
I'm not blaming anyone.. (or maybe I am) But I'm really frustrated with how little control I've on the situation... I wished I could do more... or rather, they would do just a little bit more...
Despite this, I'm definitely aware that there are others who do their parts in helping me complete my tasks on time. I appreciate and thank those who geniunely went all the way out to help... and secretly hope that the rest will just do the same...
One more day...
Hope he comes...
I'm cooking a recipe for potential disaster. And the best of all, the killer ingredients are not due to my negligence... not due to my carelessness or anything within my control.. It's instead due to what people are doing or rather not doing.. People who are screwing up my work for me... people who are for some reasons avoiding my (numerous) calls... people who are just unreasonable and people who are not sticking to deadlines they promised me. It's not like I'm being unreasonable. I gave ample time and informed them way before.. yet things still can't be done...
i'm seriously frustrated. I detest the thought that I might be getting a scolding from my boss for screw-ups that were not directly caused by me. It's not like I'm not doing my work, not like I'm careless or forgot something. If I am responsible for the screw-up, I admit defeat and will gladly accept the 'punishment'. But I just can't take it lying down when the responsible party is actually someone else. I'm willing to go all the way out to complete the task, all I need is to get them on the phone to convey my intentions and I can't even reach them. Something tells me that they are avoiding my calls... and it's so irritating that there is really nothing I can do without offending them...
Handling people is definitely a challenge and for now, I'm not doing it right. At least it appears so... Seems like I'm going to spend my OFF day trying to get my hands on them... worrying if the task will be done...
Wished I have more control.. I don't mind doing extra work... I just need the required documents in.. I'm more than glad to do the sorting out no matter how messy the documents are.. Is it really that diffcult? I don't think I'm asking too much. It's just a simple request.
I'm not blaming anyone.. (or maybe I am) But I'm really frustrated with how little control I've on the situation... I wished I could do more... or rather, they would do just a little bit more...
Despite this, I'm definitely aware that there are others who do their parts in helping me complete my tasks on time. I appreciate and thank those who geniunely went all the way out to help... and secretly hope that the rest will just do the same...
One more day...
Hope he comes...
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