Two sides of a coin...

I like being alone... Being alone gives me the space I need to think about things that's happening in my life... about decisions I made, about situations I met and about anything else under the sky... I like being alone, not having to think about what to say to others around, just being silent, indulging in the wonderful music my ipod plays, and being drawn into the meaning of the songs...In addition, I especially like being alone in a crowd.... It's an amazing feeling - people walking by you as if you don't even exist there... Nobody caring about you... and you're feel to do whatever your want..(to a certain extend of course)..

But, on the other hand,

I dislike being alone.. When I'm alone and given ample space, I would start evaluating my life... When I start thinking about things in my life.. my imagination will run wild.. I would wonder if things I did were right, decisions I made were sound and of course, lotsa "what if" in my life. I would start to ask myself questions and doubt decisions I make... and it scares me... It scares me to think that I might eventually come to realise that some of the decisions I've made were actually huge mistakes..."What if" questions are the worst of the lot. They make me discontented with my life and wonder about things I probably shouldn't have done, or about things I might actually have if things haven't gone the way they had... I would start thinking about my life in general, about what I want to achieve and what I have achieved (which is probably nothing great).. and start to realize how insignificant and sad my life had been, blah blah, blah... In conclusion, I would probably sink into depression if I'm given too much time and too much space to think too much.. Hence, I need someone/something to occupy my time and to distract me from thinking things through too thoroughly...

Guess till date, zim has been my buffer in this aspect. Our stickiness kinda took up most of my 'alone' time. I would just whip up my phone to give him a call when I sense my imagination starting to stir. And it sucks that he's not around, (though still a phone call away, but the rates are a hell lot of difference).

Wish he would be back soon...