My voice.

I'm not really complaining. Really. I just needa voice it out.

Life in Nyc? Good or bad? I'm not sure. While I'm totally free from work stress, I'm a little overwhelmed by my aimless day to day routine. So I wake up when Sam does (which is REALLY early by my standards). I bring the little guy for walks to tire him out. I come back and pray that he will stay asleep till it's time for lunch or the next walk. I watch trashy shows and sneak to the toilet to avoid waking him up (this I never succeed, unfortunately). I countdown to the time Zim comes back when he's not out of town. I contemplate for hours whether I'm in a cooking mood. He comes back, we eat dinner, Sam sleeps, Zim works, I watch more trashy shows. Period.

I'm not sure what I've signed myself up for by being here, leaving behind a job I had (okay, this isn't a bad thing I suppose), family and friends I adore and activities I really enjoyed. Sadly, Fridays don't mean any thing to me anymore. (It used to mean the world to me.) Weekends are just days when Zim is either out of town, or days when he worked from home. Of course, not all is bad. There were days when I truly enjoyed myself and thank god that I'm here, yet there were also days when I just waste my days away watching trashy show, cleaning after the dog (I still love Sam despite this) and doing housework. It's especially horrid when Zim's out of town which actually is becoming increasingly frequent.

Ironically, Sam is the only thing that is keeping me sane. (well, he does drive me insane too.) His stupid acts and cute face bring lotsa smiles to my face. Bringing him for walks and to the dog park is something I always look forward to. Meeting other dogs and dog owners is probably my only socialization on weekdays. In addition, it's also a blessing that our social circle is expanding. There are more activities planned for us on weekends too.

Okay. I'm just whining. Yes, I am working to find some aim in my life. Keeping my fingers crossed that things will fall into place. For now, I'm just feeling really sianz. Guess I need a break from being a homemaker. LOL. Maybe the break in Orlando will do me some good.

Meantime, it's a just another boring friday night, a zimless saturday and hopefully, a better Sunday?